Animal Shaped Food

I'm enjoying lunch with a dude from work. Good guy, I just happen to have something I want to make fun of him about.

I get to the point in my lunch where I am enjoying a bag of Goldfish (think crackers, not sushi). He has finished his lunch, and i decide it is only polite to offer him some Goldfish. He declines. And explains. He has a thing. Since he was a kid, it has always disturbed him to think about eating foods shaped like animals. He gets grossed out by thinking about accidentally biting off their heads or biting right through their eye.

Of course, I instantly bite the head off of a Goldfish. But they are so small he doesn't notice.

(I would like to point out that this man has just finished devouring a pulled pork lunch special.)

Of course, I instantly start rattling off every animal shaped food I can think of:

Animal Crackers - Nope
Goldfish - Nope
Gummi Bears - Nope
Gummi Worms - Nope
Swedish Fish - Nope

What really got me about this was that I, as a child, and as an adult, specifically ENJOY the idea of biting the heads off of gorillas and giraffes. I would TEAR the heads off of gummi bears in grand dramatic sweeping motions, gnashing my teeth and growling maniacally! I would nibble their little paws off and make them dance around in the air without any feet. Many times attempting to increase the gore by biting off HALF of their heads...

Ahhh...Good times.

Anyway. He's a meat eater. Eats sushi, pulled pork, burgers, etc. But he does not like non-meat that is shaped like live meat. I think I'm going to place a gummi bear army in his cube some morning.